A Best Man speech can keep the most confident best man awake with worry, but I can reassure you folks that by the time you finish reading this post you will find that you are not that stressed after all. I am neither a magician nor a hypnotist merely a realist, here to help you put things in perspective. Here are 5 examples of situations far more stressful than giving a Best Man speech:

1. Your car breaking down during rush-hour causing miles of tail-backs leaving you to face lots of angry drivers.
2. You are on the way to the airport before realizing you forgot your ticket, and the tickets of everyone in your party.
3. Out on a first date before realizing you left your wallet at home.
4. Arriving an hour late on the first day in a new job.
5. Getting a call from your wife/girlfriend saying “Today is my birthday, how could you forget?”

They, my friends, are stressful situations, having the honor of telling a few jokes, a couple of one-liners and toasting the Bride and Groom in front of a room of friends and family, all willing you on, is not stress it is pleasure. Being Best Man is a privilege that doesn’t come around too often so when it does, remember to relax and enjoy it.

Your Best Man speech throws up the constant challenge of “what is suitable for the speech versus what will offend?”. To help you overcome this worrying enigma today we look at the topics your Best Man speech should swerve away from, in order for it to be a successful Best Man speech.

Your friends may be egging you on trying to convince you that various stories from the Groom’s past are fine and nobody will be offended, that’s easy for them to say as they relax and nurse a cocktail watching you the Best Man in the firing line. The simple rule of thumb is that if you think it might offend, then it usually does. To further assist you in this area I have provided a list below:

1. Ex-Girlfriend

It may be funny on the Bachelor Party or in the bar, but bringing up the Groom’s ex-girlfriend is certain not only to offend the Groom, but it is certain to embarrass the Bride on the biggest day of her life. Are you brave enough to do that and face the consequences after? Didn’t think so, me neither.

2. Bachelor Party

A common mistake that Best Men make is to allude or hint at activities that may or may not have taken place during the Bachelor Party. Trust me guys, no one outside of the Groom’s male friends, is remotely interested. Bringing the Bachelor Party up is a tactic that will bring a smile to few. You will be smiling however, smiling on the other side of your face afterwards.

3. A Secret from the Groom’s past

Given you are Best Man it stands to reason that you know the Groom a long time and are his best buddy. You may perhaps know a secret about him that he has never shared with anyone else, the wedding day is not the day to bring it up. So whether it is the tattoo of an ex-girlfriend on his ankle, or the time he skipped off from work early to meet you for a beer, bite your lip and keep them secret. Sharing the Groom’s private stories will put a strain on your friendship so don’t do it.

4. Mother-In-Law jokes

So there you are, at the top table with the Wedding Party, including 2 beaming proud Mothers-In-Law and you want to make a joke at their expense? You must be a brave man if you do. Nothing will cause embarrassment more than that. The people you need to embarrass on the wedding day are the Groom and Groomsmen, and mothers-in-law have very long memories, so don’t ruin their proud day.

5. Bad Language

Ok so it’s not a “topic” but still is important enough to make our list. No matter how often you use vulgarity in your everyday life, using bad language during a Best Man speech will certainly alienate the wedding guests irrespective of how good the rest of your speech contents. Children are at every wedding so don’t offend them, and remember it won’t just be the children you will be offending. Do you want to spend the rest of the evening running away from angered parents? if so you better be a fast runner.

Avoiding these minefields will ensure you are on the right path to a successful Best Man speech, one that everyone will enjoy. The person who needs to enjoy the Best Man speech more than anyone else is the Best Man himself. So when it is your turn to speak, stand tall, proudly smiling as you look around the room knowing that your Best Man speech is the finest they will hear.

Bachelor Parties – 5 essential pieces of advice

5. Firstly, ensure it is invite only. You do not want stragglers tagging along because they heard there is a party in town. By the same token you need to ensure that nobody has been left off the invite list. Identify with the Groom, in advance, who he wants to come on his Bachelor Party, that is the key it is his Bachelor Party so ensure he has the final say on who is to attend. If there is someone that you don’t particularly get along with, for the sake of the day, let bygones be bygones.

4. Behave yourselves, whether it is a weekend in Vegas, a paintball party or dare I say a trip to a strip club, make sure the night is remembered for the right reasons. Don’t go over the top on the alcohol, what’s the point in having a Bachelor Party that nobody remembers ?

3. Leave your valuables at home. Whether it’s the engraved watch your wife gave you for your wedding anniversary or your state-of-the-art cell phone with built in laptop, leave them at home. Bachelor Parties are notorious for party-goers losing, or leaving behind items. You don’t want to be the crestfallen guy coming down the stairs the next morning asking “Has anyone seen my..?”

2. The Bachelor Party is vital in your role as Best Man so treat it like the wedding itself in terms of organization. Have the number of your limo driver, the reference number for your hotel and any other important information that is needed for the day/weekend.

1. Enjoy yourself but keep Tip No.4 in the back of your mind and needless to say make sure everyone adheres to the famous adage “what goes on tour, stays on tour.”

The Bachelor Party is a time where the Best Man can actually prove he his best man. Look out for your buddies, especially the Groom, otherwise you can be assured that the Bride will be on the look-out for you. The Bachelor Party should be the most enjoyable part of the wedding celebrations for the Groomsmen and Best Man, sticking to these 5 rules should ensure it stays that way.