Amongst the many pleasures of giving a winning Best Man speech is the ability to put hecklers firmly in their place, after all it’s you who has the microphone. Unfortunately when alcohol is being drank in large amounts you very often get a guy in the audience who thinks he is the funniest man in the venue and decides to interrupt your speech with his own comments, designed to make you look silly. So, how do we deal with this? Quite simply, have a few responses ready and pounce once the heckler begins.

Five Great Responses To Hecklers

1. That’s okay pal, I remember my first beer too.

2. Your presence here tonight is depriving some village of their local idiot.

3. Congratulations, we have finally found a winner of “The Most Insecure Man In The Audience” award.

4. Aren’t alcoholics meant to be anonymous?

5. I only have 15 minutes to make a fool of myself, you have the rest of your life.

There are few things more satisfying whilst giving your Best Man speech than turning the embarrassment back onto the hecklers, so have these lines at your disposal and the heckler will wish he never opened his mouth.

A trap that many people fall into whilst giving a Best Man speech is to try to incorporate long-winded jokes into their speech. The Best Man speech is not the platform for long-winded jokes as the attention-span of guests will be short. One-liners and short snappy jokes are the order of the day for the Best Man.

Today I am providing you with 10 winning “Marriage is..” one-liners that will leave your guests beaming from ear to ear.

Top 10 “Marriage Is…..” One-Liners

Marriage is not a word it’s a sentence.

Marriage is where the lady gets a ring on her finger whilst the man gets two under his eyes.

Marriage is where the lady gets the last word in any argument whilst anything a man says afterwards is the beginning of a new one.

Marriage is like a violin, once the lovely music ends, the strings are still attached.

Marriage is a serious business that should not be entered into lightly and at 240lbs there is no fear of our Groom entering into anything lightly.

Marriage is mind over matter, if the husband doesn’t mind then it doesn’t matter.

Marriage is bliss but then again so is ignorance.

Marriage is like a warm bath, once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

Marriage is all about commitment, but then again, so is insanity.

Who To Mention During Your Best Man Speech

Firstly, let’s get one thing straight, this list is not a strict absolute list of people to thank, but merely a guide, however you would be expected to include most, if not all, the people listed whilst giving your Best Man speech. Sometimes the most memorable part of a Best Man speech is not about who he mentioned during the course of the speech more so who he omitted to mention.

Trust me guys you do not want to leave somebody out, intentionally or unintentionally, and have them stewing with disdain for the rest of the evening. So with that in mind let’s investigate the candidates to thank;

The Bride- chaps if you somehow omit the Bride from your Best Man speech then you deserve the fury afterwards.

The Groom- no matter what style of speech you decide on, be it funny, sarcastic or lighthearted do make time to thank the Groom for choosing you to be his Best Man.

Parents of the Bride and Groom- guys believe me when I tell you that you do not want to forget about mentioning the parents, make particular reference to the moms.

The Bridesmaids- compliment them on how fantastic they look, and then say something lighthearted like “apologies in advance for the behavior of the Groomsmen on the dance-floor”.

Maid of Honor- make special mention to the Maid of Honor, calling her by her first name.

Fellow Groomsmen-it is always a nice touch to thank your fellow Groomsmen by saying something like “we are all the Best Man today”.

For the tone of your delivery of the speech, leave a pause after each person’s name that you are thanking with the expectation that there will be applause for each, then continue on with your speech basking in the feel-good factor in the room.