A trap that many people fall into whilst giving a Best Man speech is to try to incorporate long-winded jokes into their speech. The Best Man speech is not the platform for long-winded jokes as the attention-span of guests will be short. One-liners and short snappy jokes are the order of the day for the Best Man.

Today I am providing you with 10 winning “Marriage is..” one-liners that will leave your guests beaming from ear to ear.

Top 10 “Marriage Is…..” One-Liners

Marriage is not a word it’s a sentence.

Marriage is where the lady gets a ring on her finger whilst the man gets two under his eyes.

Marriage is where the lady gets the last word in any argument whilst anything a man says afterwards is the beginning of a new one.

Marriage is like a violin, once the lovely music ends, the strings are still attached.

Marriage is a serious business that should not be entered into lightly and at 240lbs there is no fear of our Groom entering into anything lightly.

Marriage is mind over matter, if the husband doesn’t mind then it doesn’t matter.

Marriage is bliss but then again so is ignorance.

Marriage is like a warm bath, once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

Marriage is all about commitment, but then again, so is insanity.

Using quotes in your Best Man Speech is essential as it allows you a chance to relax and read straight from your script but more importantly it will have the guests at the wedding in uproar if you choose your quotes wisely.

The great thing about quotes is you can add them in wherever suits you in your Best Man speech. For example, if you feel there is a lull in your speech following your opening lines, toasts and before your main body of your Best Man speech, throw a few quotes in there. Likewise if you need an attention-grabber before your all-important closing lines throw a few quotes in.

All it takes is something like ” Do you know what Groucho Marx said about weddings?” or “Zsa Zsa Gabor once said…” and you will have the full attention of the guests then you deliver the quote with purpose bordering on showmanship and bask in the applause thereafter.

Top Ten Quotes About Marriage

“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce” Groucho Marx

“All marriages are happy, it’s the living together afterwards that cause all the trouble” Raymond Hull

“A successful marriage involves falling in love many times, with the same person” Mignon Mcaughlin

“A man is not complete until he is married, then he is finished” Zsa Zsa Gabor

“I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career” Gloria Steinem

“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence” Oscar Wilde

“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Groucho Marx

“I always cry at weddings, especially my own” Humphrey Bogart

“Before marriage a man yearns for the woman he loves, after marriage the Y becomes silent” Author Unknown

“Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage” Ambroce Bierce

Incorporate some of these quotes into your speech and you’ll soon realize that the only person who should be nervous by a Best Man speech is the Groom. Enjoy these quotes and look forward to you Best Man speech with confidence.

There are certain points during your Best Man speech that you need a reaction from the guests. These reactions may include laughter at a joke or applause at a warm statement. There are 3 points during your speech that must garner a reaction, your first joke, your closing line and your toast. You note I did not write “it would be nice to garner a reaction”, I wrote “you must garner a reaction”. 

Today we are dealing with wedding toasts, and like any aspects of your speech it is important to choose a line, that your audience may enjoy, not one you enjoy. Here are 10 examples of nice toasts varying in style but each should gain you a confidence-boosting reaction.  You should begin each by saying something along the lines of ” Ladies and Gentlemen can I ask you all to be upstanding as we toast the newlyweds”

Ten Examples of Successful Best Man Toasts 
May they live as long as they want, but never want as long as they live.

May your love be modern enough to last to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever.

May they share love and laughter and Happily Ever After

May their hands be forever joined in friendship and their hearts forever in love.

May they live long, laugh often and love always.

May the path they lead blossom with love, health and happiness.

May “for better or worst” be far better than worst.

May their wedding days be few and their anniversaries many.

May they remember the 2 secrets to a happy marriage-a short memory and a good sense of humor.

May the roof above them never fall in and those beneath it ever fall out.