As Best Man, your Best Man speech is just one task expected from you on the wedding day. You usually also assume the role of Master of Ceremonies (MC) for the wedding and therefore will be introducing each speaker when it is their turn to speak. If you are asked whether you want to undertake the role as MC, accept it with both hands, as this will give you an opportunity to get used to the microphone, and talking to the wedding guests, as you introduce each preceding speaker.

Knowing the order of speakers is essential, so you should work with the Bride and Groom in the days coming up to the wedding finalizing who will be speaking. The traditional order of speakers is:

Father of the Bride

Groom

Best Man

Best Man Telegrams

Wedding Toast

You will note I said the “traditional” order of speakers, however in these modern times it is not unusual for the Bride, Maid of Honor, mother of the Bride or indeed mother of the Groom to say a few words, hence the importance of knowing who exactly will be speaking beforehand.

If the Bride and Groom ask for your input into the amount of wedding speeches, politely tell them that there should not be too many speeches, that guests will want to relax have a drink and enjoy the cake…knowing that your Best Man speech and Wedding Toast will provide the icing on the cake.

Best Man speeches are usually the most anticipated amongst all Wedding speeches and despite common myth, it is not the crowd of guests that makes a Best Man nervous, instead it boils down to a lack of confidence in the content of his speech. If you have the right content for your Best Man speech, then the only nerves should be on those speaking after you, as they will have a hard act to follow.

You know by now the format and structure of giving a Best Man Speech, when it needs to be funny, insert some Best Man jokes, when it needs to be sincere, consider adding some lines of poetry and ensure that your Wedding Toast is a winning one.

Once you have mastered the content, you need to decide on how you wish to deliver the speech. You will perhaps have done some research and found everyone advising you to memorize it and deliver it off the top of your head. Others may suggested the “safety first” route of reading it directly from a sheet of paper. I suggest neither of these routes. Wedding Days can be long stressful days for a Best Man and adding fuel to the fire would be the pressure of remembering your Best Man speech in its entirety without skipping a crucial piece, whilst reading the speech directly can sound monotone.

How do we overcome this conundrum? Bring cue cards with you and keep in your pocket until it is your time to speak. While it is not necessary to have your complete Best Man speech written on these cue cards you should have words that act as prompts.

There are 2 exceptions, where you must have your segments of your speech memorized, the Opening lines and Closing lines (including the Wedding Toast). Your speech may well live or die by these lines so have them etched in your mind ready to deliver at will.

Try to maintain eye-contact as much as possible and smile as you speak, your guests will do likewise. When complimenting the Bride turn and look in her direction, ditto for the Groom. Don’t speak too quickly, relax, and speak with poise and character. 

I cannot over-emphasize the importance of the right content for your Best Man speech, not only for the guests, but to give you that surge of confidence as your moment of reckoning arrives. The more you enjoy your Best Man speech, the more your guests will enjoy it.

One final tip, and one that you may end up thanking me for on the Big Day, write two sets of cue cards and give one set to a family member or a trusted close friend at the wedding, you may have some “jokers” trying to get their hands on your copy before the speeches begin, and the last thing you need is to, stand to give your Best Man speech, reach into your pocket and find it empty. 

There you have it folks master the content ( you are on the right site for that) and deliver the perfect Best Man speech, to a rousing ovation from the Wedding Guests.

Being Best Man and being given the opportunity to deliver a Best Man speech and Wedding Toast is an honor that doesn’t come along every day of the week. So while wedding humor and Best Man jokes are of course expected and welcomed during your Best Man speech, don’t allow them to saturate your speech to the point where the Groom is merely a figure of fun. It is essential that your Best Man speech has a balance of fun and sincerity.

 The structure of your Best Man speech will revolve around 3 key lines;

The Opening Lines       5 Great Opening Lines for your Best Man speech

The Closing Lines      5 Great Closing Lines  

The Wedding Toast       Top 10 Best Man Toasts

The success of your speech, and to an extent your role as Best Man, will depend on how these lines are delivered so practice them until you are comfortable delivering them without any prompts. Remember that a Best Man speech it is not just about the words, you can improve your delivery of the speech by practicing the pauses and tone of your voice. Now I advocate having a copy of your Best Man speech to read from should you need to, or to take cues from, but try to have these sections memorized as then you can have eye contact with the Wedding guests knowing you will see a crowd of smiling guests willing you on, and that alone is a great confidence-builder as you deliver your speech.

Once you have your 3 key lines selected then just build your speech around them. Things that you can consider mentioning include, childhood memories of the Groom, funny stories at the Groom’s expense and a story of how you first met. It is essential to include a few complimentary lines about the Bride in your speech, they are usually warmly received by the guests allowing another surge of confidence to rush through your system.

Your Best Man speech should build to a crescendo with your closing lines and Wedding Toast, by that stage you will be so confident that you will not want your speech to end, but you can relax and look forward to a thunderous round of applause for giving the best, Best Man speech.

Tomorrow we will look at examples and ideas for your all-important closing lines.