The made of honor is usually either the bride’s best friend or a close family member so if you offend the maid of honor you can be certain that you will be offending the bride also and that would not be a wise thing for the best man to do.

With that in mind, today’s humorous post looks at things that the best man should not say to the maid of honor or else he may find it hard to stand up straight to deliver his best man toast.

                                                                                                                                                01.  The groomsman has a crush on you, but then again he has had lots to drink today.

02.  Why do the dresses look well on the other bridesmaids, was it hard to get the right fit for you?
                                                                                                                                               03.  Ever slept with the best man before?
                                                                                                                                                04.  I thought you were going on a diet for the wedding?
                                                                                                                                                 05.   As a girl who looks like she knows how to have a good time, tell me about the bachelorette party.                                                                                                               

06.  Don’t try anything funny when we are dancing later on, my mother warned me about girls like you.
                                                                                                                                               07.  Let’s be honest, chances are you’ll never get married so make sure you enjoy the wedding today.
                                                                                                                                               08.  Want to enjoy an experiment with myself and the groomsmen ?
                                                                                                                                               09.  With the bride being so beautiful, it must have been tough watching her get all the attention when you were growing up.
                                                                                                                                                 10.  Just to make it clear, once the best man / maid of honor dance is over then my duties with you are complete.

                                                                                                                                                  As best man you will have enough on your mind at the wedding and will not need any extra aggravation so make sure that you steer clear from these lines. Using any form of cruel humor will come back to haunt you, so stick to funny best man jokes for your speech and enjoy the plaudits afterwards.

As you will understand from a previous post, why short best man speeches work best, I am a great believer that inexperienced public speakers should give short best man speeches. By reading the format of a short best man speech you will have a good outline to work from, in order to create your own speech.

Sometimes it is a good idea to let the wedding guests know that you won’t be rambling on with a long-winded speech, you can do this by opening your speech with comments referring to the fact that you won’t be speaking for too long.  The list below provides 5 great examples of lines to use to get this point across.

1. I will be sticking to the 3 most important rules of a good best man speech, I will stand up, I’ll speak up and then I’ll shut up.
2. In the words of Franklin D Roosevelt, I will be sincere, I’ll be brief, and I’ll be seated.
3. I will be giving a short speech as I reckon embarrassing yourself for 2 minutes is better than embarrassing yourself for 10 minutes.
4. My best man speech is going to be short, but just like when it is buffet night in my favorite restaurant, I know what I have to do, just not sure where I’m to start.
5. As a married man I’m not used to speaking without interruption so my best man speech will be a short one.

Catching the attention of the wedding guests from the start is vital so consider these opening lines along with icebreakers for short best man speeches and then choose an opening line that is best for your speech.

Getting off to a good start will ease your nerves and allow you to deliver your best man speech in a confident style which will impress everyone in attendance.

Being funny when giving best man speeches is a virtual prerequisite, we have already looked at ways how props can light up your Best Man speech but another great way to have the guests smiling from ear to ear is to talk about the contrasting tastes that the Bride and Groom have. 

Being the helpful guy that I am, I have provided 6 examples below that you can use, for the purpose of the examples provided here I am using “John” as our Groom and “Jane” as our Bride.

1.  Jane likes precious metal while John likes heavy metal.

2.  Jane likes Van Gogh while John likes Van Morrison.

3.  Jane enjoys operas while John enjoys soap operas.

4.  Jane has a love of ballroom dances while John has a love of lap dances.

5.  Jane likes pretty pearls, John likes Pearl Jam.

6.  Jane likes traveling the world while John likes Wayne’s World.

Be sure to find somewhere in your best man speech for a couple of these lines as they are a great way of showing examples of how opposites attract and are sure to be received well by everyone in attendance.  For the best impact, speak directly to the wedding guests as you say these lines rather than reading from your notes, and revel in the warm reception that will follow your best man speech.