Wedding speeches tread a fine line between the nostalgic, the sentimental and the serious, that is of course until the Best Man stands to give his speech. By the time the Best Man’s toast begins wedding guests will have been listening intently to the various other speakers and while they may well have enjoyed these speeches they will be relying on you to provide some much-needed humor and laughter to proceedings.

It is vital to never include jokes that may be deemed crude or offensive so ensure any wisecrack on your behalf has a PG rating, this is particularly important when it comes to making any jokes about the honeymoon. For instance never make the Bride blush, instead aim the punchlines in the Groom’s direction.

Honeymoon jokes also provide the perfect opportunity to introduce some funny props to your speech for example you could tell the guests that you were helping the Groom pack for his vacation and you stumbled across his swimwear, then show everyone the tiniest pair of swimming trunks you can get your hands on.

Other ways to include the honeymoon in your speech is to tell a few “You know the honeymoon is over when…” jokes, for example “you know the honeymoon is over when you call to say you’ll be late for dinner and the answering machine replies it’s already in the microwave.”

Best Man speeches thrive on humor, there is nothing like the sound of warm applause or loud laughter to settle your nerves and help give you the confidence to give a funny Best Man speech.

As Best Man you have more duties to undertake than just prepare a funny speech, so it is important to bear this in mind while preparing for the wedding day. Today we focus on etiquette for the wedding ceremony itself and look at the Best Man’s role in it.

You will be expected to greet guests as they arrive so ensure you arrive at the church with plenty of time to spare. Producing the wedding rings is a well-known Best Man duty so make sure you have them with you in a safe location.

The Best Man typically is responsible for handing over payment for certain expenses at the church such as any possible church fees along with tips. It is worth noting that you do not pay out of your own pocket for these expenses, the Groom will give you payment in advance and you then distribute the payment to the necessary parties.

The Best Man also usually signs and stands as witness to the signing of the marriage certificate.  After the ceremony you should co-ordinate with the Groomsmen, and ensure that all the wedding guests have transport to the location of the wedding reception.

If you get too worked up about your speech then this will affect your duties as a Best Man for the ceremony itself so don’t let the speech interfere with the other tasks expected of a Best Man.  If you are really nervous about delivering the Best Man toast then just provide a short Best Man speech that has a few funny marriage jokes and pay tribute to the Bride and Bridesmaids then finish with a warm toast and you can look forward to a rousing ovation.

No matter how much preparation you put into preparing your Best Man speech, there are things that have a habit of regularly occurring during wedding toasts at the most inopportune moments. To ensure you are best prepared to give a successful Best Man speech we have not only selected the 8 unwritten rules but also the contingency plans on how to deal with them in a humorous manner.

1. A cell-phone will go off during your speech.

No matter how politely you ask guests to ensure their phones are switched off, someone’s phone will invariably ring. If it does, face the direction of the where the call came from and say something witty like “I thought the Groomsmen had permission to stay out late tonight.”

2. A drunken guest (usually one of your friends) will try to heckle you.

Luckily for you, our classic responses to hecklers post will have your “friend” wishing he never opened his mouth.

3. The caterer / hotel staff will begin collecting glasses and dishes to the din of clanging glass.

To avoid this, explain in advance to the caterer that you would appreciate it if there were no interruptions whilst the speeches are taking place.

4. Cameras will be flashing so much that you become a celebrity for a few minutes.

Well the amount of cameras and camcorders aimed in your direction will make you feel like one anyway. That is of course assuming you aren’t a celebrity already; following in famous footsteps, celebrities who’ve been Best Man.

5. The microphone will stop working.

As with any professional speaker, even if you are not one, pretend it is all part of the act and soldier on.

6. You will leave somebody out when thanking people for their efforts on the special day.

Not if you have read our post on ; Who to mention during your Best Man speech.

7. A wedding guest or member of the catering staff will drop a bottle/glass as you speak.

Look at the wedding guests, smile and say “I see I’m not the only one who has prepared an icebreaker for today.”

8. The band /DJ will set-up during your speech.

Say something funny like “thanks guys but just because you are on after me doesn’t make you the headline act.”

The finest wedding speeches are those that are delivered with confidence even when the unexpected crops up, so bear these 8 rules in mind to help you deliver with a twinkle in your eye on the wedding day.