September 2008

Best Man speeches are notorious for Best Men trying to over-complicate their speeches. Once you stick to The Format of a Best Man speech, then just build your speech around it. I have previously posted about using Props in your Best Man speech and including your Groomsmen in order to insert more one-liners  into your speech but beyond that, keep your speech simple yet funny and sincere at times.

Ideally you need your speech to fall into one of two categories: 1-Funny yet warm 2-Sincere yet witty

For the “Funny yet Warm” speech maybe talk about The Groom’s hobbies, lack of sporting ability, and a funny story or two from his childhood, feel free to add to the story for comic-effect.

For the “Sincere yet Witty” speech perhaps speak about your spin on why he chose you to be Best Man, how he has changed since meeting The Bride or talk about how the happy couple met. You can use anagrams to illustrate points for example- marriage is an anagram of “a grim era”

Irrespective of which category your speech falls into, I strongly recommend reading, or for some of you re-reading, an earlier post about ways to personalize your Best Man speech. You should also have a few obligatory Best Man jokes in your speech.

Best Man speeches are highly-anticipated by everyone except The Groom so you should look forward with anticipation yourself and enjoy the honor and privilege of being Best Man secure in the knowledge you are on the best site to garner all the tools you need to produce a dream Best Man speech.

Best Man jokes are usually the center-piece of your Best Man speech, Best Man jokes are reliant on two things: good punchlines and an interested audience. Best Man jokes that are too long will instantly disengage the Wedding Guests, so make sure your jokes are either short and to the point or else one-liners.

We have previously looked at The Top 20 Best Man Jokes but today we are examining 5 short Best Man jokes that didn’t quite make our list but nonetheless are very funny in their own right.

You will note from the examples below that these one-liners are flowing, fluid lines that can be dropped in at any time during your Best Man speech.

5 More Best Man Jokes

5) Marriage is a serious business that shouldn’t be entered into lightly and by looking at the Groom you can see that it’s been a long time since John entered into anything lightly.

4) Today I am meant to sing the Groom’s praises, well I can’t sing and I certainly won’t lie.

3) I had an idea that it was going to be difficult to follow the Groom’s speech, and I was right, I couldn’t follow a word of it.

2) Remember John that a happy marriage is when one person is always right, and the other person is the husband.

1) Sarah is a beautiful girl who truly deserves a handsome, charming, intelligent husband, thankfully John you managed to marry her before she found one.

If your Best Man speech is sprinkled with short jokes and one-liners you will have a fully-engaged audience for the entirety of your speech. With you providing the right content (and you are on the right site for that) you can rest assured that your Best Man speech will have guest’s rising from their seats to give you the ovation you deserve.

A Best Man speech can keep the most confident best man awake with worry, but I can reassure you folks that by the time you finish reading this post you will find that you are not that stressed after all. I am neither a magician nor a hypnotist merely a realist, here to help you put things in perspective. Here are 5 examples of situations far more stressful than giving a Best Man speech:

1. Your car breaking down during rush-hour causing miles of tail-backs leaving you to face lots of angry drivers.
2. You are on the way to the airport before realizing you forgot your ticket, and the tickets of everyone in your party.
3. Out on a first date before realizing you left your wallet at home.
4. Arriving an hour late on the first day in a new job.
5. Getting a call from your wife/girlfriend saying “Today is my birthday, how could you forget?”

They, my friends, are stressful situations, having the honor of telling a few jokes, a couple of one-liners and toasting the Bride and Groom in front of a room of friends and family, all willing you on, is not stress it is pleasure. Being Best Man is a privilege that doesn’t come around too often so when it does, remember to relax and enjoy it.

Your Best Man speech throws up the constant challenge of “what is suitable for the speech versus what will offend?”. To help you overcome this worrying enigma today we look at the topics your Best Man speech should swerve away from, in order for it to be a successful Best Man speech.

Your friends may be egging you on trying to convince you that various stories from the Groom’s past are fine and nobody will be offended, that’s easy for them to say as they relax and nurse a cocktail watching you the Best Man in the firing line. The simple rule of thumb is that if you think it might offend, then it usually does. To further assist you in this area I have provided a list below:

1. Ex-Girlfriend

It may be funny on the Bachelor Party or in the bar, but bringing up the Groom’s ex-girlfriend is certain not only to offend the Groom, but it is certain to embarrass the Bride on the biggest day of her life. Are you brave enough to do that and face the consequences after? Didn’t think so, me neither.

2. Bachelor Party

A common mistake that Best Men make is to allude or hint at activities that may or may not have taken place during the Bachelor Party. Trust me guys, no one outside of the Groom’s male friends, is remotely interested. Bringing the Bachelor Party up is a tactic that will bring a smile to few. You will be smiling however, smiling on the other side of your face afterwards.

3. A Secret from the Groom’s past

Given you are Best Man it stands to reason that you know the Groom a long time and are his best buddy. You may perhaps know a secret about him that he has never shared with anyone else, the wedding day is not the day to bring it up. So whether it is the tattoo of an ex-girlfriend on his ankle, or the time he skipped off from work early to meet you for a beer, bite your lip and keep them secret. Sharing the Groom’s private stories will put a strain on your friendship so don’t do it.

4. Mother-In-Law jokes

So there you are, at the top table with the Wedding Party, including 2 beaming proud Mothers-In-Law and you want to make a joke at their expense? You must be a brave man if you do. Nothing will cause embarrassment more than that. The people you need to embarrass on the wedding day are the Groom and Groomsmen, and mothers-in-law have very long memories, so don’t ruin their proud day.

5. Bad Language

Ok so it’s not a “topic” but still is important enough to make our list. No matter how often you use vulgarity in your everyday life, using bad language during a Best Man speech will certainly alienate the wedding guests irrespective of how good the rest of your speech contents. Children are at every wedding so don’t offend them, and remember it won’t just be the children you will be offending. Do you want to spend the rest of the evening running away from angered parents? if so you better be a fast runner.

Avoiding these minefields will ensure you are on the right path to a successful Best Man speech, one that everyone will enjoy. The person who needs to enjoy the Best Man speech more than anyone else is the Best Man himself. So when it is your turn to speak, stand tall, proudly smiling as you look around the room knowing that your Best Man speech is the finest they will hear.