July 2008

We’ve looked at the effect of one simple error, in your role as Best Man, could have on the wedding day itself. Today we are dealing with the Best Man speech and for once rather than giving advice on what to do as a Best Man, instead we are going to focus on what not to do.

Top 10 Best Man Don’ts

1. Don’t drink too much in advance of your speech. It is the most common Best Man mistake, have a drink or two sure but don’t overdo it.

2. Don’t forget anyone’s names. There is nothing more embarrassing than wanting to thank somebody and then forgetting their names.

3. Don’t swear, it’s not big and it’s certainly not clever.

4. Don’t mention previous girlfriends. What might seem funny to you and your friends will almost certainly offend the Bride and her family.

5. Don’t read directly from a script. Have it with you by all means, but remember you are the Best Man not a news-reader.

6. Don’t steal their spotlight, the Big Day is about the Bride and Groom after all.

7. Don’t leave preparing your speech until the last moment.

8. Don’t use overly long stories, the audience’s attention span will be short.

9. Don’t embarrass the Bridesmaids.

10.Don’t forget to enjoy yourself.

So the Big Day has arrived and your moment to shine is imminent, guests wait expectantly to hear the embarrassing stories and jokes at the Grooms expense. All in good time however, as my latest tip will take the focus off the Groom for a few moments and on to the Bride. Whilst it is customary of course to say a nice line about the Bride, it is not so common for a segment of your speech to be devoted solely towards her. This segment need only be two or three lines but if delivered correctly it will receive loud applause and possibly a standing ovation, and that is before you have even starting speaking in earnest about the Groom.

Five Example Lines That Compliment The Bride

For best effect, take the microphone in your hands, turn to face the Bride, and say for example;

“Sarah, I have gotten to know you since you met Mark and I am so proud of my Best Friend that he has married such a caring, gorgeous, warm, loving girl like yourself. Ladies like you don’t come along too often in life and I mean the word “lady” in every sense, you are the perfect couple.”

“Sarah, you have so many qualities that it would be impossible to fit them all in to this speech but to name a few, you are kind, generous, beautiful, warm, funny and today you are as radiant as the sun itself.”

“Sarah, while John is a great guy I don’t think we could call him a saint, you on the other hand are angelic in every way.You are a beautiful, special lady and John is a very lucky man.”

“Sarah not only are you the light of John’s life but I speak for all his friends when I say that your caring, generous, warm qualities show in abundance on a daily basis and I am sure the other ladies in the room will not mind me saying that you are the most radiant person in this room, but then again you would be the most radiant person in any room.”

“Sarah, you look sensational today and are such a beautiful, caring, loving person. Your delightful personality, glorious smile, generous nature and caring warmth are just some of the many reasons why John should consider himself the luckiest man in the world.”

When saying your line of choosing in this part of your speech, remember that the effect is just as important as the words, so say your words slowly and deliberately from memory, whilst looking at the Bride. If you master this, then your speech will linger long in the mind for all the right reasons.

The format of a Best Man Speech

You know by now the importance I stress on opening lines in your Best Man speech  well this is a guide to the format of your complete speech.

The Intro

Following your opening lines which I am sure you by now have perfected, introduce yourself to the guests, indicating your relationship to the Groom, bearing in mind that not all the guests may know you. A word of warning, keep it short, as the big day is about the Bride & Groom after all. Thank both sets of parents and the guests for helping make this a wonderful day. Express how you particularly want to thank those who have travelled far distances to be there.

The Bride

Say a couple of complimentary words about the Bride, mention how the Groom has been the happiest he has ever been since she came into his life. Say how beautiful she is and finish by saying something like “and those who know the Bride know she is just as beautiful on the inside” (a sure-fire winner with the guests).

The Groom

This is as I’m sure you know the main part of your Best Man speech, so this is where you put your Best Man speech research into action. Here you will perhaps discuss how the newlyweds met, or maybe something the Groom said (a compliment) about the Bride after their first date, or maybe even something that happened on the Bachelor Party, something clean and not self-incriminating obviously.

Now tell a story from the Grooms past that you know will embarrass him, you may discuss his lack of sporting-prowess for example of his lack of fashion-sense or a funny story from his schooldays, it is pivotal however that any story you consider for insertion in your Best Man speech should be neither humiliating nor offensive and suitable for all ages.

Say something nice about the Groom. Yes, you read that right, say something nice about the Groom. He is your best pal after all and has bestowed the honor of Best Man on you, so say something complimentary about him. Something along the lines of “the Groom has been my best friend for 20 years and I am very proud to stand as his Best Man today” will do, although it is nice to expand on that depending on the length of your speech.

The Toast & Closing Lines

This is the cornerstone of your Best Man speech and is where you should receive your loudest ovation. Here you will say some brief closing lines (1 to 2 lines maximum) followed by your Best Man Toast and then it is all over and you can enjoy your day in earnest.

Using quotes in your Best Man Speech is essential as it allows you a chance to relax and read straight from your script but more importantly it will have the guests at the wedding in uproar if you choose your quotes wisely.

The great thing about quotes is you can add them in wherever suits you in your Best Man speech. For example, if you feel there is a lull in your speech following your opening lines, toasts and before your main body of your Best Man speech, throw a few quotes in there. Likewise if you need an attention-grabber before your all-important closing lines throw a few quotes in.

All it takes is something like ” Do you know what Groucho Marx said about weddings?” or “Zsa Zsa Gabor once said…” and you will have the full attention of the guests then you deliver the quote with purpose bordering on showmanship and bask in the applause thereafter.

Top Ten Quotes About Marriage

“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce” Groucho Marx

“All marriages are happy, it’s the living together afterwards that cause all the trouble” Raymond Hull

“A successful marriage involves falling in love many times, with the same person” Mignon Mcaughlin

“A man is not complete until he is married, then he is finished” Zsa Zsa Gabor

“I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career” Gloria Steinem

“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence” Oscar Wilde

“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Groucho Marx

“I always cry at weddings, especially my own” Humphrey Bogart

“Before marriage a man yearns for the woman he loves, after marriage the Y becomes silent” Author Unknown

“Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage” Ambroce Bierce

Incorporate some of these quotes into your speech and you’ll soon realize that the only person who should be nervous by a Best Man speech is the Groom. Enjoy these quotes and look forward to you Best Man speech with confidence.